Aimer. Espoir. Destin

Christmas Break

2011-12-19T21:26:00.001-08:00

So, the plan was to have the shirt I gave him changed into a different size.

Plans changed.

Instead he helped me look for a bag for my cousin.

We went to Jellybean at first, then Tomato, and atlast @ Egg. He even kid around, said that that's

his store. He told me he's an egghead. HAHA

So, after buying the bag we roamed around the mall.

Held hands.

We decided to watch Immortals, it was definitely a perfect cuddle day for the both of us. The great time you could have is to be with the one you love talaga. Taters popcorn are yummy, btw. Except for the wasabe flavor. Blech!

I like it when we do crazy stuff when we're together. He's like my bestfriend. He is, actually.

Immortals, what a gruesome movie!

But he liked it anyway. We were supposed to leave around 4pm, and he kept on extending.

Because it was his parents anniversary.

Bought ice cream before we left the mall.

Deciding to sit in front was not a good idea.

I saw how vain I was. I kept looking in the mirror.

Or maybe I just liked seeing us together.

In fairness, we looked cute.

We didn't talk about wearing the same color but we did.

Gray all the way!

I love my boyfriend.

Love,

Mycah <3

I still remember my first word to you

2011-10-20T01:51:00.001-07:00

K. It was a Friday afternoon, proof, because we had a club meeting that day. I was trying to make a chopstick hairdo infront of our room, Genesis. So, I was beside the drinking fountain and I saw him lining up to get a drink. Hmmm. I wondered who this familiar guy is, and I was like.. "Cholo?". I never though that guy will be the one I'll fall for so hard. He just nodded, and I simply smiled. I wish I could bring back those times and push the replay button over and over again.

I push people away

2011-10-08T00:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I feel that I need to push them away, rather them pushing me away.

I've found a really special guy. Yes, I'm afraid to lose him. I've tried everything I could, said everything I should to push him away, but he never gave up on me. It's been a year, but this is the first time that I felt that he's already getting tired of me. Duh, of course I can't blame him.

It's a 50/50 chance that this relationship will continue. I feel we're like we're losing it. I miss the old us, and how the little things counted. He doesn't even have to do big efforts, I just want the old him back. I can't accept the fact that we both already changed. It sucks. I expect too much from him, I know it's wrong. It's just that, I've been used to the whole idea of him always being sweet, caring, and he always makes me realize my worth to him. I want to feel I'm special to him again. What's wrong with that, anyway? 5 months from now, I'll be leaving highschool. Just the thought of leaving Holy Family breaks my heart. Things at school aren't that great right now. But I love my school. I've learned a lot from there. New school, new classmates, new faces, new personalities to learn, new teachers, new environment. I have to cope up with this. I need to be strong. I need him. I will need him at that time more than ever. It's hard knowing I;ll be losing him soon, too.

I'm not usually like this. I'm tough! I don't cry all the time. I care lesser with the things that will distract me. Maybe I should just think for awhile. About what has been happening in my life, what have I been missing since I focused my whole life on him. I disable my facebook account, also I changed my Tumblr URL since I won't be updating anything from there. It's just you and me now, blogspot. :)

I've been feeling so alone too lately. Yes, I'm surrounded by people, my cousins are staying over at our house for 5 months, but my friends aren't exactly "always" there for me. It really actually do hurts when someone talks or notices you when they need something from you.

I have somehow, a long weekend. I must memorize a piece "Bad Girl" before Tuesday. I will make myself busy. Detach to everything that's not helping. I need to find serenity in my life. Fuck shit I do. All these stress, all these problems, all these dramas. Gimme a break!

I am exactly not the girl my friends really really care about. They probably don't even know I have this blogspot! Lol. With that said, I can freely express what I feel. Periodical tests are coming up. Yipee. Not. Kind of excited with the retreat though! It's gonna be on Friday next week, on the 21th of October. Hellooooo, silence and calmness! I just want to exhale all the negative and bad shits, and inhale loooove, happiness, weed. Hahaha. Kidding. I'm such a good girl. I don't know what I did to deserve all of these pain I feel. I don't do drugs, I barely drink, like my last drink was like, 5 months from now, I study hard. AND WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN ALL THE F'N SHIT COMES TO MY LIFE? WHYYYY?

Hahahaha. I'm a drama queen. So, I'm not into any suicidal tendency. Just trying to have my alone time. Alone with God. I must praaaay! I must pray that I pass all my exams, I must pray this isolation to everyone will be successful, pray that I have the strength to do this, pray that after all of these, I'll be back to my convivial self again!

Sheesh. Man, I talk a lot. Kbye.

Lovelots,

Mycah :)

HIHEYHELLO

2011-09-25T15:35:00.001-07:00

Yung feeling na mas pipiliin mo masaktan ng tuluyan para lang hindi siya masaktan.

#ganyankitakamahal

Uy, gwapo!

2011-09-22T03:01:00.001-07:00

So kanina, Arts time nasa long kiosk kaming Colossians. The usual, mga weirdo trips namin, tawanan, ganun. Tapos may dumadaan sa bandang canteen, ang gwapo. Sisigaw sana ako ng "Hi.." tapos bigla humarap, nakita ko.. boyfriend ko pala. Hay. Wala na ako masabi. HAHAHAHA. :">

How can the wrong things make so much sense?

2011-09-14T01:46:00.000-07:00

During HE class, we stayed at the long kiosk to do our "Battle Cry". I was with Bea, Ara, Justin S, and Rex. We were talking about random things. I suddenly found myself getting into a bet with Bea. She told me to write this on a piece of paper. Gan'to sabi niya, "Kapag nagpakasal kayo, ako mismo bet ko 100,000". She was telling this to me and Ara. I don't know what got into my head and I actually wrote this. HAHA.

So, Ara also agreed. Sabi pa nga ni Ara, sila daw after 2 years. Nakakatawa kami talaga kanina. Even Sitchon kept telling us that we're crazy to be talking about stuff like these in our age. I agree. But still, I don't know why I did this. Bea kept trying to tell me na "masanay ka na wala si Cholo". And come to think of it, she's right. The problem is, I got used to him being always there. He's like a part of me. I can't deny that I can't live without him. Alam ko sasabihin ng iba, bakit? Nakuha ko mabuhay ng ilang years na wala yan eh. Pero, ang hirap eh.

Dismissal, sinundo niya ako sa room. Tapos inexplain ko yung deal namin ni Bea, I asked him if we're up for it. He was like, "Kung saan ka dun ako". HA-HA.

I tore the paper (there was another copy of it on the picture) and showed it to Ara. HURT lang ako nun! Hahahahahahahaha. So, pauwi ako tapos 'di ko mapigilan magisip. Parang inisip ko na, nagpapaka-attach ako masyado sa taong ito na hindi ko naman talaga makakasama pang habang buhay eh? Iiwan din niya ako, or malay ba.. ako pala yung mangiiwan. My friends are right. It's too early for me to say na siya na talaga. Even though I want him to stay in my life for the rest of my life. OK ANU DAW. HAHA. I have no assurance. Tapos this happened pa.

Ang daming nagbbreak ngayon dahil sa long distance relationship noh. Sabi din ng iba, I'll meet alot of people pag dating ng college, and I won't know what will happen then. Pero mahal ko talaga siya eh. Hindi ko siya kayang iwan ngayon. Hindi ko siya kayang ignore at iwasan. Mamahalin mo pa ba yung taong alam mo naman mawawala sa'yo?

Ilang weeks ko na din 'to naiisip eh. Iiwan niya ako. Iiwan niya ako. Iiwan niya ako. DUH. Eh ba't ba pinipilit ko pa? Yes, everything is going great right now. Pero kamusta naman kapag nandun na kami sa point na yun? Naiinis talaga ako eh. Minsan iniisip ko, "tangina ba't aga aga ko naiinlove!" Bakit hindi muna ako magfocus sa pagaaral ko. Shit lang. Shit shit shit. Eh yun. Nagpapaniwala ako masyado sa forever na sinasabi niya, pero hindi man niya kayang panindigan. Alam ko yun. Mararamdaman ko naman kung minimean ng isang tao sinasabi niya. So ayun. Fuck my life lang kasi hindi ko alam gagawin ko ngayooooon. Naiinis talaga ako. DAFUQ.

I should do something about that soon.

One year. So, what now?

2011-09-11T05:45:00.000-07:00

Too scared to hold on, yet too inlove to let go.

September 11, 2010

Last year

RIP Badong

The day I met your parents.

One of the most happiest days in my life.

It felt nice to know that I am special to you.

Thanks.

September 11, 2011

Today

How's it going?

By that, I meant how are we doing.

Not great.

Not even good.

What's happening to us?

This day sucks, not only because I've been such an over-thinker,

but also for some reasons that I hate seeing you in pain,

because of your Grandmom.

I wish I was there to hug you tightly.

I am trying my best not to let go.

But why am I also trying my best to be strong,

and let you go?

Time really does change a person.

RAIN OR SHINE

2011-08-28T03:30:00.000-07:00

July 27, Wednesday, was Eriel's birthday. Elgin, Cholo and I tried to surprise her. But it was a total fail. Anyhoo, this post is about Cholo. We were supposed to watch HP together, but for some reason, hindi kami natuloy. I was so upset with him! It was raining on Eriel's birthday. Raining really hard. Kept asking Cholo if the date was still up because they said that there's a storm coming and it's signal no. 1. Natuloy kami of course. It was one of the sweetest things he did for me! :"> From AUF, nagtricycle kami going to MarQuee 'cause it was raining hard. Nabasa kami ng sobra sa tric, especially him! We then watched Captain America. Of course, kasweetan nanaman niya. Kulang na lang talaga langgamin kami. Not kidding! :)

After watching, we ate @ KFC, kasi alam ko naman never ending fave fast food niya yun. First time namin magdate na kumain kami! Hahaha. Maybe we're both shy before. But we're not the couples that like taking pictures with every date we have. Hindi kami vaaaain! Oyeah! B)

Then after eating, it was around 5:30 I think? Naglakad kami ng naglakad 'cause we were full. Inikot namin MarQuee. Hahaha. Bonding with my babe is the best! Kahit wala kami ginagawa, basta I'm with him nothing can top that feeling. Then we were supposed to go home, pero nakita ko ang lakas pa rin ng ulan outside. Tinawagan niya Mom na niya, sinabi na malakas ulan and hindi kami makauwi kaagad. We stay for 15 minutes, I guess? Pero ayaw niya malate ako.. and siya. =)) Then sinugod namin yung malakas na ulan sa overpass. Siyempre yakap effect ako sa kanya. Hihihi! Ang gwapo gwapo niya lalo na kapag wet look. HAHAHAHA. I had the best time with him AGAIN. Palagi naman eh :)

I just blogged this now, 'cause he texted me about this. Naalala ko! Kinilig nanaman ako. Sana maulit. I think that was our last date. Wow. 1 month na niyan. Hmmm. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. :>

So yun. I love my boyfriend. :) He's the best thing in my life right now.

UPDATE

2011-08-20T21:22:00.000-07:00

I am missing Texas so much! I miss the chill life I used to have, and how I have lots of free time to relax and actually pay attention to what's going on, plan things that will actually happen. Here in the Philippines, I am very stressed because of school. I am now a senior. B)

I cannot wait for my Mom to come home! I'm excited for my Mom to meet him. She's been telling me over and over again about their "lunch date". And speaking of

him.. Cholo and I just had our first anniversary. I am so happy and still inlove with him. Only him. I am so blessed to have a him as my boyfraaan!

Grades are foine! Just worried about Math. I don't deny that I suck at Math. But yeah, nobody is perfect. And you can't have it all. Eriel and Ara are still not speaking to each other yet. I miss Eriel. I miss us three. And I just wished that whoever's fault it is, we would still forgive each other. That's what bestfriends do. It's not yet the end. I'll do everything I can just to fix this problem.

I worry too much.

2010-12-08T02:46:00.000-08:00

It feels great. Knowing you're actually important to somebody. You play a very special role in someone's life.

It feels great. Smiling at each other from a distance. Having someone to hold hands with. Having someone to make you smile. Having someone to call you, "Baby". Having someone to text you, "Goodmorning Babe! I love you! :)". Someone who could actually take away your problems and replace them with good times.

That someone you could sit with for hours, doing nothing but still you enjoy every second you were with them. Someone you could talk to for hours, and never get tired even if you make it your daily routine.

I don't want to put the END in Endlessly.

2010-10-27T19:51:00.000-07:00

Here's the story of me and you.

They say, we've only known each other for a few months. Who ever said we need a long amount of time to fall in love? Truth is, unexpected talaga yung sa atin eh. When we we're chatting, I never thought that you liked me.

Negatives

2010-10-27T18:16:00.001-07:00

Let's all think/feel/imagine what If you feel all of these..

You do NOT believe in Pixie Dust.

Despair.

Unhappy.

Fraustrated.

Mad.

Paranoid.

Empty.

Pessimistic.

Dismayed.

Debunked.

A nonchalant expression.

Nonplusses.

UNSWERVING.

Inert.

Unloved.

Alone.

Forgotten.

Replaced.

Hurt.

Deeply Hurt ( on the second thought. )

BUT,

Maybe, someone's suffering more than you are. Right?

So you might as well reconsider that you are not that UNLUCKY. :-)

Love you,

Mycah ♥